ho ho ho mahry xmas

Hanukkah is Harry,
let us not despairy.
It’s midnite in the garden of good and scary.
So so,
so-so scary.
the candy man can!

i like the girls
who like lollipops
i like the girls
who don’t know when to don’t stop
one hand on the gummy worm
the other on the moon pie
white chocolate on your lips
better lick it off and shit
you say
you like the pixie stix
i got a stick for you
that’s long and sweeter
on your knees
in the back of my shop
we’ll roll around
in the chocolate and peter (butter)

mahry xmas ebery1oe!

i will punch

i will punch
your nose into your eyes
the testosterone flies
it’s a set of torrid lies
that we decry

i will best
the worst thoughts in my mind
purge them from all crime
set their hearts afire
and then whisper:

“i will puuuuuuuuunch”

“you look so angry”
well, duh

a collection of older songs

just for you, i’ve compiled a bunch of stuff that has been sitting around (like, literally, these songs have been on chairs) since about 2006.

here’s a video for one of the tracks. i found this band of otters who played and danced and singed all night long:

here’s the rest of the album, which can be found at ieatpants.bandcamp.com

may i give you an update (get it? cause it’s may)

listen, there’s not a lot of activity right now in the pants household. there are a few punk rock songs in the works, but not punk rock like green day; more punk rock like the minutemen…

there’s tons of bands calling themselves punk rock, but i’m reading michael azerrad’s our band could be your life, and i’m blown away by bands like black flag and minor threat who were insanely influential without ever actually making much money. there wasn’t even the promise or dream of money. only the promise of a fist in their faces.

there is an independent spirit that is truly missing from music—at least the music i normally listen to. this isn’t some old man rant (although technically i am an old man ranting), just an observation of my own listening habits and of the music that surrounds me.

black flag was angry. really really angry. the los angeles police saw them as a threat. cops were seriously scared of what might happen at their shows. what band today can say the same?

minor threat sang a dictate to its audience: “don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t fuck”—giving a million teenagers a glimmer of a hope of a future that didn’t involve some fucking cheap vice.

the minutemen played on bills with black flag and other hardcore bands, but were more folky and organic—showing how the idea of punk rock was more about how you made music, rather than what the music sounded like.
d. boon and mike watt

in summary: “indie” rock is not very fucking indie. we should do something to change it.

also, i just found out that kira roessler, who played bass in black flag, now does dubbing and dialogue editing on game of motherfucking thrones.

black fucking flag

fucking awesome.