did i ever tell you guys about the poop song i wrote?

it’s kind of a ballad to the underdog. the boy with feces on his fingertips:

i do believe that these words may strike a chord with many a listener.
whether they be a down-trodden misfit that fell through the cracks of society’s crack or perhaps just a little boy with a whiff of butt pickles on his breath. this one goes out to anyone who has ever been lost in brown town:

the boy with feces on his fingertips by ieatpants

there once was this boy
who was all alone
he’d been abandoned
by his family and friends
his only friend
came from his butt
his only friends
were filled with corn and nuts

he played with his poo
you see it was his best friend
he played with his poo
he always had a finger up his rear end

and the best poo comes from fancy food
that’s what he wanted
and the best food makes the friendliest doodoo
that’s what he needed

so he found some cash
working at a car wash
he got this job
washing cars

and now there’s poop
in the soap
all the cars are lined up down the road
there’s poop in the soap
and all the cars smell like a commode
there’s poop in the soap
the people come from miles around
there’s poop in the soap
every car and truck is painted brown

so it turns out
that no one minds
they all think he’s hilarious
they love the boy with feces on his fingertips

he plays with his poo
it’s his best friend
he plays with his poo
always has a finger up his rear end

now, do you guys remember that movie with marlon brando?
he asks this girl to stick her fingers up his butt.
now, that was really weird.
but, pretty sexy movie, regardless.

but you know he’s kind of like a huge star
to be sort of just throwing in this weird butthole fingering scene

he played with his poo
you see it was his best friend
he played with his poo
always had a finger up his rear end

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